


The Great Album Escapade

by Kc8899



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, Angst, Finally a 5sos album, Fluff, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Sad, So is Mikey, but Mikey has a reason, luke is a dick, selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2031099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kc8899/pseuds/Kc8899
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke wants to act out as many 5sos songs as possible, Ashton doesn't want to play along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Long Way Home?

"Come on, Ash! Get in the car we've got to go!"

"What are you talking about Luke? We don't have to be anywhere..." The older boys asks in confusion.

"Exactly, I'm taking you out on a romantic date." Luke smirks trying to impress Ashton.

"Haha, okay. Do I need to change or anything?"

"No, your good! Let's go!" Luke grabs Ashton's hand and pulls him out to the car like an excited puppy.

The two boys get into the car and Luke starts to drive away from the house, not going anywhere in particular.

"Do I get to know where we're going?" Ashton asks.

"We're taking the long way home." Luke says glancing over at Ashton and looking really proud of himself.

"Luke, you do know that we just left home, right?" Ashton asks concerned for the younger boys mental health.

"Yeah silly, why wouldn't I know that?"

"I'm not sure. So why are we doing this then?"

"It's romantic." He says before reaching into the cd holder on his visor thingy pulling out Green Day's American Idiot album. "Here put this in the CD player." He says handing Ashton the disk.

"Green Day... Good choice." Ashton says still confused.

The two boys continue to drive for a while before Ashton starts to get annoyed.

"Luke, you know that light is green right?"

"Yeah, of course I do."

"Then why are you slowing down?"

"Because it'll be red by the time we get there."

"So you've literally been trying to hit every red light?"

"No, it just happens. It's like the car wants to hit the red lights or something"

"Okay. If you say so."

"Hey Ash, remember our first date?"

"Of course Lukey, what kind if boyfriend would I be if I didn't?"

"Can you please tell me the story if it? I love how you tell it."

"O-okay, you're being a little strange today Lukey. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"I'm fine Ashy, promise." He flashes a smile for emphasis. "Now, please tell the story."

"Okay, so we were out in this empty field that was literally in the middle of nowhere. It was night so there was fireflies everywhere. It was beautiful. Um you laid out a blanket and we laid under the stars as you played your guitar. It was so much fun even though we did literally nothing."

"Well good, I'm glad you liked it." He says, "now kiss me" he leans over and puckers his lips waiting for a kiss.

"What's going on? You should be driving not trying to kiss me."

"We're at a stop sign it's fine. Please kiss me?" He asks with a pout.

"Fine." Ashton gently pecks the younger boys lips, "there you go. You got your kiss."

"Thank you Ashy" Luke says with a smile finally pulling away from the stop sign.

"So, where are we going?" Ashton asks again.

"Um, I don't know."

"Well where are we?"

"I don't know that either."

"Well what do you know?" Ashton asks more than slightly annoyed.

"Were stuck in the middle of nowhere and we took our time to get here?" He says sounding more like a question.

"Are you quoting our song?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because we're taking the long way home. I don't know I thought it'd be cute to act out the song."

"Really, Luke? This was your plan all along?"

"Yeah, I was sick of waiting my time alone and I thought you'd find it cute. I don't really know Ash. I'm sorry." Luke says deflated that Ashton didn't like his date idea.

"Don't be sorry Luke, but were not living in a movie scene so you should probably take us home now. And not the long way." He says getting comfortable in his seat again.

"Okay," Luke says with a pout. "I'm sorry for my stupid date idea Ashy."

"It's fine Lukey."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Luke turns the car around and starts to drive back towards the house all four boys share. After about five minutes he flips the headlights off.

"Luke, what are you doing? It's dark out. You need the headlights on to see. Do you want to get in a crash or something?"

"Sorry Ash. I just like that song and I'd thought it'd be cute. Sorry. I'll stop now."

"Thank you, Lukey. Sorry I'm so grumpy today."

"It's okay, Ashy. I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

Luke drives the two back home in no time at all. As soon as the car is parked Ashton grabs Luke's cheeks and pulls him into a heated kiss. "Thank you for the date Lukey. It was cute." He breathes when they pull apart.

The two boys get out of the car and go inside, Ashton wastes no time telling Mike and Cal about Luke's silly date idea.


	2. I'm not wearing a Cobain shirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys have any particular songs you'd like me to do just comment them! They can be any 5sos song not just the ones on the album :)

The bartender hands Luke another drink and Luke thanks him walking away to find Ashton. He spots the curly haired lad over by Michael and Calum leaning against the wall, probably talking about something stupid again. He walks over, forcing himself to stumble and look more drunk than he really is. 

"Hi Ashy." He slurs pulling the older boy into his chest. 

"Hey Lukey, what's up?" Michael and Calum smirk and the possessive drink boy and walk away to find some girls to talk to or something. 

"I just wanted to tell you that I really like your Cobain shirt."

"Luke I'm not wearing a Cobain shirt what are you talking about?"

"Oh you're not? Sorry, I thought you were." 

"Are you sure you're okay Lukey?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine Ashy." Luke says stepping away from the older boy and almost falling on his face. 

"Maybe we should take you home. You seem like you've had too much to drink."

"N-no! I-I'm fine Ashy! Promissssssss!" Luke says almost falling on his face again. 

"Come on, let's go tell the boys were going home." Ashton pulls the 'drunk' boy over to their friends and Luke plays up the act even more. 

"Hey guys," Ash says, "I'm gonna take Lukey home. He's a little, and by a little I mean a lot, drunk." Luke just giggles and plays with Ashton's hair. 

"Haha, okay. Keep him safe buddy." Michael says patting Ashton on the back. 

"Do you even remember your name?" Calum asks, the question directed at Luke. 

Luke just smirks and mutters "trouble."

"Really? Your name is trouble?" Calum asks, Luke nods. "Have fun with him buddy," Calum says to Ashton before the two walk out of the loud bar. 

"Lukey, we have to walk home because I'm too drunk to drive and Cal and Mikey need some way to get home so we can't take the care anyway." Ashton says looking over at the boy. "Can you walk properly or do I have to hold you up?"

"I can walk Ashy." Luke says smiling sweetly before trying to stumble down the road purposely going the wrong way. 

"Haha, no you can't Lukey, come back here. You're going the wrong way."

Luke walks over to Ashton and puts his arm over the shorter boys shoulders while Ashton's arm goes around his waist. "I love you Ashy."

"I love you too Lukey. Now let's get you home." The two start off towards the 5sos house. 

They walk in silence for a while, it's not an awkward silence though more like a comfortable one. Luke is the one to break the silence, "Ashy? You know that one song about living on a prayer or whatever?"

"Yeah I know the song, what about it?" 

"I like that song. It's a really good song."

"That's nice Lukey. I like that song too, it's a good one." They walk in silence for a bit longer, "I think were half way home now Lukey."

"Ashy?" Luke stops walking. 

"What is it Luke?"

"Why do you like me?"

"What's there not to like about you baby? You're perfect in all your imperfections." 

"But you are so far out of my league. Everyone says I should lock you down before you figure me out and you run away."

"I'm not going to run away Lukey" Ashton says gently kissing his lips, "and I've already figured you out."

"You have?" Luke gasps in shock. 

"Yeah Luke," Ashton says which a chuckle, "I know you're not really as drunk as you want it to seem. You probably only had a couple drinks."

"I'm sorry ashy. I just wanted some alone time with you. It seems like we never get it anymore."

"I know what you mean baby. It seems like Mike and Cal never leave us alone anymore."

"I think I'm pretty lucky to have you Ashy." Luke says before they start walking again. "You know, your so fit you make me insecure. You deserve way better than me Ashy."

"Yeah I do. I'm sure Mike or Cal wouldn't keep doing this." Ashton says with a pout and Luke knows he's been caught. 

"It took you a while to catch on Ashy." Luke says with a smirk. 

"Actually I knew it from the moment you said you liked my shirt. I don't even own a Cobain shirt. I just decided to humor you for a little bit"

"I was that bad huh?" Luke asks. 

"Yeah Lukey. Why are you so insistent on acting out all of our songs that we can? It's kind of strange."

"Because it's fun and cute and I like to do it. Pleaseeeee Ashy, it'll be fun. I promise." Luke says with the best puppy dog face he can muster. 

"You really wanna do this, huh?"

"Yes, Ashy! Please! If you don't do it with me I'll get Mikey."

"You wouldn't." Ashton gasps faking a hurt expression. 

"I would," Luke replies voice fully serious. 

"Okay, let's make a deal."

"What kind of deal."

"You can only do one song a week and I'm allowed to complain about it as much as I want." 

"How would that be you playing along?" Luke asks as Ashton opens the front door to their house. 

"It wouldn't be."

"Fine I'll just have Mikey do it with me. He'd act out the songs." Luke says storming up to his room and slamming the door. 

"Well at least he'll be leaving me alone now." Ashton mutters to himself.


	3. You can't go to Pluto, Lukey. It's not even a planet anymore.

Luke walks into Calum's room carefully stepping around all the clothes and thing in the floor. He spots the older boy asleep in his bed and decides to wake him up in the nicest way possible. 

Jumping right on top of him. 

Luke lands on top of Calum with a thud and a groan from both boys.

"That was a better idea in my head." Luke says rolling off Calum. 

"That was a really stupid idea."

"Sorry Cal-Cal." Luke says with a innocent look on his face. 

Calum groans. "It's fine Lukey." No one can stay mad at Luke when he does that face. "So why did you wake me up and possible break my ribs?"

"Oh! I was looking for my suitcase and I couldn't find if so I was wondering if you've seen it?" He explains. 

"Did you check the closet that we keep all the suitcases in?"

"Oh. No, I didn't." Luke says jumping off the bed. 

"What do you need your suitcase for?" Calum asks but gets no reply because Luke had already run out in search of the suitcase. 

When he reaches the closet that Calum has mentioned earlier he opens the door and sees that his suitcase is right in front. He grabs it and brings it back to his room setting it open in his bed. 

He goes over to his dresser and pulls out a huge pile of clothes shoving it in the suitcase before zipping it up. 

"There we go." He says feeling accomplished, "that only took a minute."

Suddenly there's a knock on the door and Ashton's walking in. 

"What's going on Lukey? Where are you going?" He asks. 

"I'm going on a trip." Luke replies. 

"Where are you going? And why didn't we know about this?" Ashton asks throughly confused now. 

Luke pulls a slip of paper out of his pocket and hands it to Ashton, the older boy unfolds the paper and looks it over before breaking out in laughter. 

"Lukey, you know Pluto isn't a planet anymore and that you can't go there right?"

"Yes I can. I've go a ticket to another world, that just so happens to be Pluto."

"Okay Lukey. Have fun with that." Ashton says handing him the piece of paper and walking out laughing. 

Luke pouts at his stupid boyfriends reaction to him leaving. _Shouldn't Ashton be sad that I'm leaving?_ He thinks. "He's supposed to tell me not to leave" Luke grumbles to himself with a pout. "Stupid boy can't even follow the script." 

Luke grabs his suitcase and quietly leaves the house deciding that since he's so unwanted the boys won't miss him if he stays at a hotel for a couple nights. 

When Luke gets to the hotel he's shocked by the amount of messages he has from the boys on his phone. _Maybe he really does care_ , Luke thinks. 

Luke checks into the hotel and goes up to his room before erasing the messages. 

**From: Ashy <3 **  
Lukey, where did you go?

**From: Ashy <3 **  
I'm sorry I laughed at you

**From: Ashy <3 **  
Lukey?

There are a couple more like those and a few from Mikey and Cal too. Luke looks at the time and realizes it took him a lot longer to get to this hotel than he thought. He's already been gone for three hours and it's midnight. 

Luke notices that he has a voicemail from Ashton so he pulls up the app and listens to it. 

"I-I'm sorry Lukey. I didn't mean to upset you. Honestly I find your little song reenactment really cute. I-I'm trying to find the words to say. Lukey. I'm sorry please come home." That's where it cuts off. 

Luke lies on the bed in his nice hotel room before hitting the 'call back' button on his phone and putting it up to his ear. 

"Lukey?" Ashton asks. 

"Yeah. Hey ashy."

"Oh my god I'm so glad your okay."

"I'm sorry I ran off Ashton that was really childish of me."

"It's okay baby. I'm just glad your not hurt."

"I wish I was beside you." Luke murmurs half asleep. 

"I wish I was beside you too baby." Ashton replies equally quiet. 

"I promise that I'll come home soon. Maybe in a couple days or something I'm not sure. But soon." 

"Okay baby. I love you." Ashton whispers. 

"I love you too." Luke says his voice clouded with sleep.

"Go to sleep baby, you sound tired."

"Okay, goodnight Ashy."

"Goodnight Lukey."

The line goes dead signaling that Ashton has hung up. Luke plugs his phone into his charger before rolling over and going to sleep. 

\-----

In the morning Luke checks out of the hotel puts his suitcase back into his car and drives to a new city. When he reaches his destination he pulls out his phone to send a text to Ashton. 

**To: Ashy <3 **  
Another day and I'm somewhere new, I made a promise that I'd come home soon. I wish I was, I wish I was, beside you. <3


	4. I would fly a thousand oceans for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these chapters are so short.

Ashton has done nothing but lie on the living room floor wallowing in self pity since Luke left on his little adventure three days ago. The youngest boy refuses to tell anyone where he is but insists that he's fine. Ashton feels like a total dick because he knows Luke only left because he wouldn't play along with the stupid song thing.

"Get off the floor dickhead, some of us want to use this living room." Michael says kicking Ashton in the side. 

"No, leave me alone." 

"Come on Ash! It's no big deal! Luke will be home in a couple days. He just needed some time to himself."

"How do you know?!" Ashton yells frustrated. 

"Because he told be before he left."

"You knew he was going to leave and you didn't do anything about it?"

"Yeah, everyone needs some time to themselves every once in a while. He was upset because I said you'd probably kill me if I played along with his song thing."

"Well I would have."

"Exactly, now get off the floor and shower. You smell."

"Thanks Mikey, just what everyone wants to hear when their boyfriend runs off."

"No problem Ash." Michael says smirking. 

Ashton gets up off the ground and goes to shower, thinking about Luke the whole time. Not like that you perverts, he just misses his boyfriend. 

When Ashton finally gets out if the shower he gets dressed in one of Luke's big sweaters that's like a dress on him and some skinny jeans before going downstairs for some food. 

"Hey buddy. How you holding up?" Calum asks when Ashton walks into the kitchen. 

"I feel like I've been torn in two Cal. So not good."

"I'm sorry buddy. I'm sure he'll be home soon." Calum pulls Ashton into a hug and the older boy breaks down crying the moment Calum's arms are around him. "Let it out buddy. It's okay."

"I miss him is much Cal and it's only been three days." He says sniffling. "He hasn't even broken up with me or anything but like I'm nothing without him."

"You're not nothing without him. You're just a little broken right now. Everything will be okay when he comes home."

Then Ashton mutters the one thing that they've all been fearing, "what if he doesn't come home?"

"He will Ashton. I know he will."

"Okay," Ashton whispers in reply burying his head into Calum's chest. 

\-----

Ashton's been trying to hold it together more for himself than for the boys but if anyone asked he'd say it was for them. His talk with Calum earlier today really helped him get his emotions out so he's been feeling a bit better. 

Ashton feels his phone vibrate so he reaches into his pocket quickly pulling it out hoping it was a text from Luke but there's nothing. "Stupid fantom vibrations" he mumbles. While he has his phone out he decided to send Luke a quick text. 

**To: Lukey <3 **  
Wherever you are, just know that I love you. 

He sends the text before he can over think it and goes on twitter to distract himself. After scrolling through his mentions and seeing some really cute things the fans have said he decides to send out a tweet. 

**@Ashton5SOS:** I know I shouldn't tell you but I just can't stop thinking of you. 

He closes his twitter app and puts his phone away turning the tv on to serve as his new distraction. He finds a spongebob marathon running on Nick so he watches that. Michael and Calum join him around the third episode with popcorn and cuddles to help cheer him up and for the time being it works quite well. 

\-----

Lying in bed that night Ashton decides to call Luke, he's almost called him every night that the younger boy has been gone but decided against it not wanting to be a nuisance. He answers almost immediately. 

"Hey Ashy."

"Hi Lukey. I miss you."

"I know Ash. I'll be home soon. I promise."

"Were still together right?" Ashton asks barely able to hold his tears in. 

"Oh Ashy," Luke says hearing the fear and sadness in his boyfriends voice, "of course we are. Unless you don't want to be."

"Of course I want to be together Luke! I love you and only you. You're it for me it'll be always be you."

"I feel the same way Ashton. I love you so much."

"I was worried that you had moved on and that's why you left."

"Ashton, I would fly a thousand oceans for you. If I couldn't have you I would just walk alone because you are my love and my life."

"I love you so much Lukey."

"I love you too Ashy."

The two boys continue to talk into the early hours of the morning when Luke falls asleep on the phone. Ashton whispers another "I love you" to him before hanging up the phone and plugging it into it's charger. 

As Ashton lays there that night he realizes that he actually wouldn't really mind acting out the songs with Luke. It seems like his life has turned into one of them anyway.


	5. He never understood how you could feel alone in a crowded space

Luke has been gone for a week now and Ashton's going crazy. No one knows where he is but they're not going to send a search party out or anything because he still talks to all the boys daily. No one is really sure why Luke is still gone but it's really affecting the band. Ashton hasn't done much other than sleep and cry since Luke left. He knows it's his fault Luke has gone but he's just not sure what he did. 

"Hey, Cal?" Michael asks, whispering so he doesn't wake the sleeping Ashton in the couch between them. 

"Yeah, Mike?"

"When do you think Lukey's coming home?" 

"I don't know Mikey. Do you think this is still about his stupid song thing?"

"Honestly, yeah I do. This just seems like something he'd do to get Ashton to play along."

"Yeah but it's really hurtful, just look at Ash! He's so lost without Luke."

As if he could sense he was the topic of conversation Ashton starts whimpering in his sleep. "Lukey." He says as tears start to fall from his eyes. 

Calum goes to wake Ashton up and comfort him while Michael leaves the room to make an angry phone call. 

Luke a showers the phone after a couple rings. "Hey Mikey." He says sounding cheerful and that pisses Michael off even more because he has no clue what this is doing to Ashton. 

"Don't you 'hey Mikey' me Lucas." Michael grumbles. "You need to come home now. You're putting so much stress on this band and on Ashton."

"I-I can't come home yet Mikey. I'm sorry." Luke says suddenly sounding like he's holding back tears. 

"Well when do you plan on being back because you can't keep telling Ashton soon if you're not actually going to be back soon."

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry for what I'm doing to him but I have no clue when I'll be back." Luke is crying now and he's not even trying to hide it from Michael. 

"He's so lost without you Lukey." Michael says, his voice softening, "it's like you've just left him without direction and he doesn't know what to do anymore." 

"I'm so sorry Mikey. I love him so much he has to know this."

"If you love him then you'd come home."

"I can't! Not yet. I have some things I need to get done first."

"Well hurry the fuck up." Michael hangs up the phone feeling angrier than he was before he called Luke.

\----- 

"Ash, Ashton wake up. It's just a dream" Calum whispers gently shaking Ashton. 

The older boy opens his eyes before closing them again and cuddling into Calum's chest letting out his tears. "I miss him so much Cal." He whispers. 

"I know Ash we all do." Calum rubs Ashton's back trying to calm his tears. "Deep breaths Ashton. I'm sure you don't want to have another panic attack."

Ashton tries to calm his breathing and luckily it works, his tears slowing with his breathing. "I'm sorry Cal."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I can't remember the last time I saw his face."

"It was only a week ago Ash. You can't tell me you're memory is already going bad." They both laugh at Calum's poor excuse for a joke before falling silent. They sit in silence for a while just enjoying the peace. 

"I'm going to go on a walk Cal. If I'm not back by dinner just like call me or something." Ashton says removing himself from Calum's embrace and walking from the room. 

"Okay, be safe Ash."

"I will Cal."

\-----

Ashton's been walking for who knows how long. His feet hurt like hell but he can't stop. He has a feeling that Luke is around here and he just needs to find him. 

Ashton finds himself sitting on a random bench in an overly crowded park and all he can think about is how alone he feels. He never understood all those sayings about being surrounded with people but feeling totally alone until now. 

Sitting on the park bench Ashton is left with nothing to to but think and he does a lot of it. 

He thinks about Luke, mostly. 

He thinks about bringing Luke back. 

He thinks about searching for Luke. 

He thinks about the last times he heard and saw Luke. 

He thinks about how much he missis that stupid blond haired blue eyed boy that has stolen his heart. 

He thinks if anyone else in this park is as heartbroken as he is. 

He thinks about himself and he wonders if there's anyone out there who can save him because right now he really needs saving. 

The phone in Ashton's pocket vibrates and he knows it's Calum so he doesn't bother to answer it, he instead just starts his trek back home. He he does pull out his phone a couple minutes latter though to text Calum and tell him he's on his way home. 

When Ashton gets home that night he doesn't eat, he doesn't talk to the boys, he doesn't do anything. He can't do anything but cry because on his way home from the park he realized something.

Without Luke, Ashton is a lost boy.


	6. My world is crumbling without you

"Leave me alone Calum! I'm fine!" Ashton yells, obviously not fine. 

"No you're not Ashton and we all know it." Calum replies calmly. 

"Just leave me alone." Ashton sounds defeated and he truly is. The past two weeks without Luke have been hell for him. 

"It feels like the sky is falling down around me." Ashton whispers as he collapses onto his bed. "And the earth is crumbling from under my feet." 

Calum's leaves Ashton to cool off even though he knows he probably shouldn't. Ashton just needs Luke back but it doesn't look like the blond boy is coming back any time soon. Calum goes to Michael's room and gently nicks on the door seeking comfort. 

Michael opens the door and pulls Calum into a hug the second he sees his face. They stand hugging in the doorway to Michael's room for probably longer than necessary but they both need the extra comfort right now. 

"Come on," Michael says gently pulling Calum into his room. "We can get through this buddy."

"I don't think he's coming back Mikey." Calum whispers tears gently rolling down his face. 

"He is Cal, I know he is."

"How can you be so sure?"

"He knows what I would do to him if he didn't come back so he is going to come back. He has to Cal."

"Doesn't it just feel like the world is crumbling without him here?"

"Yeah Cal. It really does. Nothing seems right without the whole band being there."

"I think we need a little vacation of our own." Calum whispers. "A little trip to get our minds off everything."

"You mean we gotta get out?" Michael asks smirking causing both boys to laugh. 

"Yeah Mikey, we gotta get out."

"Oh shit." Michael gasps sound like a weird mix of shock, understanding, and hate. 

"What is it Mikey?"

"This is all part of his fucking plan." Michael grumbles. 

"What? What are you talking about Mikey?" Calum asks not catching on. 

"Luke! This is all pert of his stupid song thing! He's probably not going to some back until we've suffered through all the sad songs we've written." Michael explains. 

"He wouldn't do that." Calum says, sounding unsure "would he?" 

"If he was mad enough he would. When I talked to him last week he seemed like he regretted his decision to leave though."

"Maybe when he started he was mad enough to put us through all that but now he just misses Ash and is suffering too."

"That's probably what's happening actually." Michael says, "good job Cal." The younger of the two smiles enjoying the praise. 

"Should we tell Ash?" Calum asks. 

"No because then he won't play along and Luke would never come back."

"So were just going to let him suffer?"

"We have to Cal. There's nothing we can do but be there for him."

"I don't like this plan."

"I don't either but it's the only one we've got so we haven't got much of a choice." 

\-----

"Ashton get up, were going on an adventure," Michael says pulling the older boy out of bed. 

"I don't wanna." Ashton says clinging to his blankets. "I just want my Lukey." Heads under his breath hoping the two boys who have invaded his room didn't hear. 

They did hear but decided to ignore it and force Ashton on the adventure. After quite some time persuading and Ashton's longer than necessary shower the three boys are off on their adventure. 

"Where are we even going?" Ashton asks. 

"No clue, our plan was to drive until we find something interesting." Calum replies. 

"Well that is a stupid plan." Ashton grumbles. 

"Ashton, stop being such a downer. We all just need to get out and have a little fun." Michael says, becoming frustrated with Ashton's constant negativity. 

"Having fun is hard to do when it feels like your entire world is crumbling down around you." Ashton snaps back at Michael. 

"Well-"

"Oh look a fair! Let's go there!" Calum says cutting off the conversation before it could lead to any more arguments. 

"Sounds good Calum." Michael says ignoring his anger. 

\-----

The fair was boring, well at least Ashton thought it was, Michael and Calum were having a blast. The three of them were now on the ferris wheel and Ashton was bored out of his mind so he decided to try texting Luke even though Luke never replies. He only answer Ashton when he calls for some reason. 

**To: stupid blond kid**  
My world is crumbling without you

No reply. 

**To: stupid blond kid**  
Lukeyyyyy I'm bored and Cal and Mike are being annoying. 

**From: stupid blond kid**  
I'm sorry Ashy. What are you doing?

Ashton almost screams because Luke replied to him. He has a huge smile on his face and he continues to text Luke that causes Michael and Calum to smile as well. 

**To: stupid blond kid**  
We're at some stupid fair. Cal and Mike thought we 'needed to get out'

**From: stupid blond kid**  
Oh well fairs are fun, why aren't you enjoying it?

**To: stupid blond kid**  
I have no one to win me any stuffed animals :(

That's where the replies end. Apparently Luke will only talk to him if it's not about Luke. 

\-----

As Ashton lays in bed that night after his call with Luke he thinks for a little bit.

He decides that he really did need to get out.


	7. You're what keeps me breathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short *hides behind hands* don't hate me

_"Luke, when is this going to be over?" Ashton asks with tears streaming down his cheeks._

_"I'm not sure yet Ashy, I'm sorry."_

_"I'm over this Luke and honestly I'm over you too. I'm done."_

_"No Ash. Please don't-”_

Luke wakes up with a jolt. He's been having the same dream since he left Ashton for his stupid song thing. Every night he has to live through Ashton breaking up with him and no matter how much he wants to go home so it'll all stop, he knows he can't yet. Luke knows he's and idiot. He knows he shouldn't have left Ashton and the boys but it's been three weeks now so he might as well continue with his plan. 

Luke decides to call Ashton, maybe talking to him will help the nightmares seem less real. The phone rings for a couple seconds before a tired sounding Ashton answers. 

"L-Luke?" He asks, "why are you calling at three in the fucking morning?" 

"O-oh I'm sorry Ash I didn't realize it was so early. I-I um just had a nightmare and wanted to talk to you." 

"Oh, okay Lukey. What was it about?" 

"Um, we can get to that later, I have something I need to tell you." 

"Okay, what is it Lukey?" 

"You know I love you, right Ash?" 

"Yeah, I guess so." 

"You guess? Ash I love you so much. Remember when we started dating and it was just for fun? Ash I know that you're the one for me, I love you with all my heart." 

"I love you too Lukey." 

"Ash, you've got me under your spell and all I can ask is that you don't set me free." 

"I wouldn't dream of it Lukey." 

"Well I have been. A lot lately. I just feel so pathetic that I'm too fucking selfish to come back to you where we both want me to be." 

"It's okay, Lukey. I understand. Take your time." 

"I don't think you do understand Ash." 

"Make me?" 

"I don't think I can but just know Ash that you're what keeps me breathing and I'm really stupid for leaving you and being so far away and hurting you." 

"Oh, okay. You should probably go to sleep Lukey, you're starting to ramble. You do that when your tired." 

"Sing to me?" 

"What song?" 

"Any song." 

So Ashton starts singing you are my sunshine because that's the first song that comes to his head and Luke would be lying if he said hearing Ash sing that didn't make him feel like shit. 

Luke falls asleep quite quickly so Ashton hangs up the phone and goes to sleep himself thinking of how much he misses Luke. 


	8. Pizza?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be for comic relief but then I put drama in it... I can't go one chapter without adding drama haha.

"Ashtoooonnnn!" Michael calls through the house. 

"What do you want you idiot?" Ashton yells back. 

"Get your lazy ass out of bed were going for pizza!"

"Again? Is that all you eat?"

"Yes! Now hurry up! I need my pizza!"

"Fine!" Ashton grumbles as he finally gets out of bed and goes to shower. He doesn't actually need to shower but he's pissed off at Michael so he's going to take his sweet time getting ready. 

Half way through his shower he heard the bathroom door open. 

"You should really lock that if you don't want people coming in here while your showering." Michael says. 

"I did lock the door Michael."

"You should really hide the key if you don't want people coming in while your showering."

"You're an idiot. Also the longer you're in here the longer my shower will take so I recommend leaving if you ever want your pizza."

Hearing this Michael scurries out of the bathroom slamming the door as he runs past it. 

Ashton finishes his shower and gets dressed before going downstairs. The second he steps into the living room Michael grabs him by the arm and starts pulling him out of the house. "Finally! You take for fucking ever to get ready! Calum! Get your ass in the car!" Michael yells.

"Michael! If you want me to drive you to the pizza place, don't talk to me like that!" Calum replies, still yelling even thought they're now standing next to each other. 

"I'm sorry Cal-Cal. Please get your ass in the car?"

"Much better Mikey."

The three boys get in the car and Calum drives them to Michael's favorite pizza shop. 

"PIZZAAAAAAAAAA" he screams as he runs inside. 

"What is wrong with that kid?" Ashton asks 

"I don't have a clue. Maybe he's a pizza addict."

"Well he is a pizza addict but that's not really like a thing, is it?"

"I don't know." Calum says holding the door pan for Ashton, "Michael makes his own rules. He's punk rock." 

"Yes! Finally! You admit it!" Michael yells running over to grab Calum in a bear hug having overheard the conversation. 

"Michael, just because Calum's whipped and says things he knows will make you happy doesn't mean they're true." Ashton says annoyed that Luke isn't here to call him cute. 

"Calum, do you really think that I'm punk rock?" The purple haired boy asks pulling off his best puppy dog face. 

"Yes I do Mikey, Ash is just jealous." This causes the oldest boy to pout while the others go to find a table. 

"Wait for me!" He says before running to join them. 

They order two pizzas because they know Michael is going to eat at least one by himself and while they're waiting for the pizza to arrive Michael decided to chant "pizza" repeatedly until he gets said food. 

The pizza finally arrives and the three dig in moaning at the taste, this place has the best pizza in all of LA. 

After Michael finishes his individual pizza he decides he still wants more, "Michael wants another slice!" He says. 

"Maybe if Michael would talk like a normal person he'd get one." Ashton replies sassily. 

"Michael wants another slice!" He says louder. 

"Fine! Have another slice just shut up you weirdo."

The boys continue to eat their pizza in silence trying to ignore how weird it is for Luke to not be there with them. 

As they walk out of the pizza shop Michael starts to sing a random song about pizza causing Calum and Ashton to groan. 

"Enough already! You got your pizza now shut up!" Ashton yells. 

"Sorry, I was just happy. Apparently if you're not happy none of us are allowed to me." Michael snaps causing Ashton's face to fall. The car falls silent and no one talks for the rest of the ride. As soon as the car stops Ashton gets out and runs up to his room slamming the door. 

He just wants his Luke back, is that too much to ask?

Apparently it is because no longer than a minute later Michael is pounding on his door telling him to open it. 

"Fuck off Michael!" Ashton yells as he pulls out his phone, plugging his headphones in and lies on his bed listening to his music on full volume. 

Calum comes upstairs hearing all the noise and wondering what's going on. Seeing Michael still by Ashton's door he pulls him away. "Mikey, don't do this." He says in a sad voice.

"Why the hell not? Why shouldn't I do this? Give me one good reason." The older boy says in reply. 

"Because he's already hurting. How would you feel if the love of your life just up and left you for the reason that Luke left him? Do you still think he hasn't figured it out? With the way he's been hurting recently he has every right to be snappy and upset."

"But I do too Cal. Luke is our friend too and Ash is too blind to see that we're hurting because of this too."

"That's because he's hurting more. We need to be here for him Mikey. We need to help him when he's down not kick him."

"Yeah, your right. I'm a shit friend."

"No your not. You just had a moment of misjudgment."

"How the fuck are you so wise Calum?"

"I haven't got a clue. Give the kid some time to cool off before you try to apologize."

"Yeah okay." Michael sighs, "so calling Luke to yell at him is not the thing to do now?"

"Would it change anything?"

"Probably not."

"Then no, it's not the thing to do."

"Okay." The two boys hug before they part ways into their own rooms trying to figure out what they're supposed to do now.


	9. Hello there, the angel from my nightmare

Four weeks. Four weeks Luke has been away and it's affecting both Luke and Ashton in a very similar way. Neither boy can sleep without being riddled with nightmares, they have no pleasant dreams anymore. They haven't talked in a week, both are waiting for the other to call. Both just want Luke to be back home. 

Luke lies on his bed limbs spread out like a starfish. He wants so bad to call Ashton but he just can't force himself to do it. He can't force himself to put Ashton through the pain of missing him even more by giving the older boy false home he'll come home soon. 

Luke isn't going to lie, he missis Ashton just as much as Ash misses him but he's fine with putting himself through this. He's already trapped in the darkness why not make it worse?

\----

Ashton holds the phone in his hand, one button away from calling Luke. 

"No, I can't." He says. "If he wanted to talk to me he'd call me." 

He puts the phone back on the bedside table and flops down on his bed wishing Luke was here to cuddle him. 

"I miss you." He whispers as a tear runs down his cheek. 

\-----

"Luke," Michael says into the phone, obviously not happy. 

"What do you want Mikey?"

"You need to get your ass back here now."

"I can't do that Mikey"

"Ashton is breaking Luke. He can't do this much longer."

"I know Mikey. Please tell him I'm sorry."

"Tell him yourself." The line goes dead. 

Luke goes into his contacts and clicks on Ashton's listening to the phone ring. Ashton a showers right away. 

"Lukey." He says, you can hear the smile in his voice. 

"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare." Luke says smiling as well. "I miss you so much Ashy."

"I miss you too Lukey. Where are you? Please just come home. I'm sorry for not playing along with your song thing. I didn't know it meant this much to you Lukey. Just please come home."

"I can't yet Ashy. Just a bit longer."

"Oh, okay." Ashton says disappointment filling his voice. 

"I'm sorry Ashton."

"It's fine Luke."

"No it's not. I should be back home with you."

"Then why aren't you!" Ashton yells angered at Luke's remark. 

"Because I can't! I can't come home yet A-Ashton." Luke's voice cracks on Ashton's name. "Just n-not yet." 

Tears stream down both boys faces. 

"I need you Lukey. I need you here with me."

"I wish I could be there with you."

Ashton hangs up his phone sick of Luke's lies. "If he wanted to be with me he'd come home." He grumbles tossing his phone onto his bed. 

"I-I just need him." He says to no one in particular sitting on the floor and wrapping his arms around his knees. Crying to himself alone in his room. 

\-----

"A-Ashton?" Luke asks hearing the dial tone. He moves the phone away from his ear to look at the screen. Ashton's contact is there, not the in call screen. Ashton hung up on him. 

"Shit." He says. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Why am I been doing this!? I can go home whenever I want! What aren't it?" Luke falls to the ground and crawls over to the corner of the room. Curling in on himself he finds a semi-comfortable position to sit in and mentally yell at himself.

He grips his hair and pulls on it as hard as he can trying to stop the voice inside his head that sounds strangely like Ashton. _Just come home._ It says. _You stop all this pain tonight if you just come home._

"N-no. I can't go home yet. I'm not finished." Luke replies. 

_You idiot. You're ruining your band and shattering your boyfriend. The love of your life, is home, alone, wishing you were there. You deserve to go to hell for what you're putting him through. You're nothing but a coward._

"I know. I know. I know!" He yells. "Just leave me alone!"

\-----

Ashton doesn't know how he got into the bathroom or why his arms are dripping blood just that it's not good. He tries to stand up but just falls back to the ground. He gives up in that and crawls over to his bed searching for his phone and not even caring that he's getting blood everywhere. 

When he finally finds his phone he doesn't know who to call. He really wants to call Luke but he can't do anything. Michael would just yell at him. I guess it's Calum then. He quickly dials the number and listens to the phone ring. 

"Ashton? Is something wrong?" Calum answers. 

"Y-yeah Cal. Something- something is very wrong."

"What happened Ash? Why do you sound like you've been crying for hours?"

"Cal I don't exactly remember what happened but I need you to come to my room and help me please. And please hurry." Ashton hangs up the phone not wanting any further interrogation at this time. 

A couple minutes latter Calum bursts through Ashton's bedroom door and finds the older boy curled in on himself crying. 

"Oh Ash." He says seeing the blood. He picks Ashton up and carries him to the bathroom,setting him on the counter. "Please hold your arms out for me Ashy." Ashton complies and Calum inspects the damage. "I don't think you have to go to the hospital, do I need to check anywhere else?" Ashton just shakes his head. Calum fest to work cleaning out Ashton's cuts and wrapping bandages around his arms. When he's finished both boys stare at Ashton's arms for what feels like forever. 

"I thought you stopped this," Calum finally says. 

"So did I." Ashton replies breaking down in tears. Calum scoops the sobbing boy into his arms and carries him back to his bed, Ashton's being too gross for anyone to lie in. When Calum gets to his room he gently lays Ashton down on the bed and goes to leave but is stopped by a hand in his wrist. 

"Please stay," Ashton whispers. 

"Okay," Calum complies getting into the bed and pulling the smaller boy into his arms. 

"Can you please sing to me?" Ashton asks, looking for some sort of comfort. 

"Sure." Calum says before gently singing Ashton to sleep. With the presence of the fragile boy in his arms, Calum slowly drifts off into a dreamless sleep as well with one thought lingering in his mind, _this band is so fucked if Luke doesn't come back soon._


	10. Wake me up now

Five weeks Luke's been living on his own, traveling around the United States. He's made his way to New York City now and he's got himself a room in a nice hotel in the heart of the city. Luke really hates himself for what he's done to Ashton, it's literally all his fault. None of this shit would have happened if he didn't take the stupid song thing too seriously. 

Luke writes letters to Ashton when he's feeling sad. He knows he's never going to send these letters so he spills his heart out and says everything. How stupid he is, how much he misses Ashton, how sorry he is, everything comes out in these letters, everything. 

Luke is lying on the floor of his hotel room waiting for someone to wake him up from the horrible nightmare that is his life. Of course no one is going to wake him up because this isn't a dream but a boy can hope, right? 

**To: the best thing that's ever happened to me (ashy)**  
I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't show you what your really worth (including right now) I'm so fucking sorry ashy. 

Luke knows he's not being subtle about his song quoting but he honestly doesn't even give a fuck anymore. He just wants this terrible life to be over. Suddenly his phone is righting, seeing that it's Ashton he answers it. 

"Hey, Ashy."

"I miss you, Lukey."

"I know, Ash, I'm sorry." Luke sighs, "I've made so many mistakes Ashy."

"You've been taking my breath away with them Lukey. It's so much harder to do anything without you."

"I'm sorry." That simple phrase seems to be the only thing Luke can say anymore. 

"I wish I could have made you stay," Ashton whispers into the phone, "but I know that it's a little to late."

"I'm the only one to blame, Ashy. I've been a shit boyfriend and friend lately and you and the buys have every right to hate me." 

"We don't hate you, Lukey. I promise."

"Mikey sure seems like he does."

"He's just angry. You know how he gets when he's angry, he says things he doesn't mean."

"Yeah, I know." Luke finally gets up off the floor and makes his way onto his bed cuddling into the blankets trying to make it feel as if Ashton is here with him. "I should have put you first, put you before my stupid games and I'm so sorry that I didn't."

"I know, Lukey. I miss the way that you hold me, Lukey."

"I wish that I could be there with you right now." Luke sighs again, another thing he seems to be doing a lot of lately, "Calum told me what happened last week." Tears somehow make their way to his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Lukey. I don't know what came over me. I don't been remember it happening if just kind of happened."

"I understand, Ashton. I'm so fucking sorry that I caused that."

"It wasn't your fault, Luke."

"We both know it was, Ashton. Please don't lie to make me feel better."

"Okay."

The two heartbroken boys sit in a comfortable silence, just listening to the sounds if the other breathing and imagining they were together. Luke hears soft snores coming from the other end of the line and giggles to himself. It's do typical Ashton to be the one to fall asleep when it was much later for Luke than it was for him. 

"Goodnight, Ashy. I love you." Luke whispers before hanging up the phone. 

**To: the best thing that's ever happened to me (ashy)**  
You fell asleep on the phone, lovely. I'm calling Calum to make sure you're tucked in properly. 

Keeping true to his word Luke reopens his calling app and dials Calum's phone number. He older boy answers right away. 

"Hi, Luke." He says not sounding to thrilled to be on the phone with the younger boy. 

"Hey, Cal. It's been a while."

"Cut the crap, Luke. What do you want?" Calum says just sounding pissed off. 

"Um, I was wondering if you could make sure that Ashton was actually in bed. We were talking on the phone and he fell asleep."

"Yeah. Okay, whatever. Is that all you needed?"

"Yeah."

"I hope you know, for you, he'd sacrifice anything to make things right."

"I know Calum," Luke mumbles hating himself more than he did before the call. 

"He still believes all of this is his fault, you know. He blames himself for your stupidity."

"I know Calum. You don't think I hate myself for this already? Because I do. I hate myself so much for everything I've put him through. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me and all I've done lately is torture him. He deserves way better than me, he deserves someone who'd actually be able to face the music and get their ass home when they realize they've screwed up instead of running away and only making things worse. I know all of this Calum. I know I'm a shitty boyfriend, friend, human. I'm just all around shitty, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've fucked everything up but I just don't know what to do anymore." By the end of his rant Luke is full on ugly sobbing. 

"Maybe if you'd get your ass home now things wouldn't get worse." Calum says before hanging up the phone. 

Luke puts his phone on the night stand and curls into a ball on the bed, pulling the blankets tight around himself he slowly cries himself to sleep wondering when he'll grow the balls to go back to his heaven on earth, also known as Ashton Fletcher Irwin.


	11. Tomorrow

"Six weeks since I've been away, and I know everything has changed, but tomorrow I'll be coming back to you." Luke whispers to himself as he finally falls asleep, tears dripping from his eyes.


End file.
